So here I am waiting for my neuro appointment next week in anticipation when at 1pm on Monday, I meet my ex-landlord’s secretary (my ex-landlord is a neuro surgeon here in Kamloops). We chat, I share my frustration about being cancelled twice and before I know it she says “I’m booking you in today – see you at 3pm” I wanted to kiss her. I go away, collect my thoughts and arrive back at the offices with Kitty (my second set of ears) at 2:45pm to be greeted by this wise, wise man who really is an angel sent from heaven.

This man is ready to retire. He was one of the first neuros in BC and sacrificed his whole family life to help those who were in serious crisis. He is a truly dedicated man who continues to work tirelessly in our over-stretched health care system. We are so lucky to have him in Kamloops. I know both him and have had the pleasure of knowing his wife. They are probably two of the nicest, most ordinary, humble people I have ever known. I never knew I would ever be visiting him as a patient but here I sit.
He pulls up my MRI, looks and with thought suggests possible removal. The tumour is on a significant blood vessel, so further investigation would be wise to avoid an aneurysm. He suggests I see a friend of his who is the Chief Neuro Surgeon at Vancouver General Hospital and who specializes in brain tumours. Is this for real I ask myself? He checks on my well-being and tells me that they will contact me shortly for further direction.

What a whirlwind of a day! I left the office, turned to Kitty and said “Did that really happen? Can I be that lucky?” There is an instant comfort in knowing I am in the best hands possible. I AM TRULY SURROUNDED BY ANGELS.

Throughout this time of uncertainty and with yet another cancellation of my neuro appointment, I have been absorbed in books to find answers. Cancer, food, alkaline diets, raw food and so much more!!!! My logical brain wants to know why a brain tumour and how to fix it. I am learning so many great things about myself. Some of these things I like and some quite frankly I DON’T like. I am a fixer by nature and so these times are challenging when you don’t know what to fix and how. So I am allowing my intuition to lead me, but in the meantime it has furthered my need to spread the word about living a whole, healthy life.

What I keep reading, seeing and being told is that this whole healthy living is bigger than I thought. I honestly thought just eat healthy food, exercise and you will be fine, but I never factored in the detrimental mental issues that affect our lives. Stress, guilt, negative self-talk etc. I think I had/have an addiction to busy-ness and stress, in some sick way it is what got me up in the morning. When I look back on my life, I was always busy and or stressed about something – not enough time, not enough money, not enough love, not enough help from my family, not enough of anything!

I see now through this all that it is not just about what you eat and drink but what you think too!!! So with this said I have been trying to adopt a life that incorporates a more holistic approach. My previous life was so totally out of balance. Starting at sometimes 5am in the morning, working on a lap-top in bed to coming home at 11:30pm after running the store and teaching in the evening. My diet was often not great, I had little sleep, had given up running – no time, and was totally exhausted, no family time, stressed but stuck in the flow of my definition of SUCCESS at that time. Until WHAM. Big headaches, highly stressed and a health diagnosis that knocked me for six!

When I look back on this time, I do not think I am much different than most of us, living this crazy life. What are we doing to ourselves, what are we missing out on in our lives? My wake-up call has allowed me to see life in these 3 areas and I am now trying to live a life of great balance between being mindful with what I am: eating drinking & thinking!

This has also allowed me to re-look at my message to the world. After working with a life coach for some time I knew I was brought here to teach and inspire. So my message continues to morph with these new found revelations.

I am setting goals to reach as many people as possible – so we can all live a holistically, healthy life.

New goals:

Un-Cooking Home Shows for FREE
School District #73 – School kids here we come!
Health Seminars – Gyms, corporations and so much more!

To reach 500 people by the end of the 2012 – in a stress free way of course!

I don’t really have any friends. Well I have lots but I never hang out with girlfriends. Between work and family, I certainly don’t set this as a priority until now. My boys are growing up and I now know it is OK to do things without them. So last Thursday Kitty and I escaped to our little place at Sun Peaks. What a joy. Kitty my dear friend who never sits still, suggested we did a creative project. I don’t see myself as being creative, but love creative projects. We decided on vision boards. With boards, magazines, Modge Podge and an open mind, we got straight to work. At 6:30pm we decided to stop for food. My old life would have looked quite different from this evening away from my kids. Drinking, partying, eating crappy food and regrets were all the ingredients for a so called good night. How times have changed. I am glad to say I value myself and my time way more than that now. It’s a delight to hang out with my good friend as we share the same food choices (not many people out there). We sat down to a delicious broccoli, almond milk soup with almond toast infused with rosemary, salad and so much more! Then back to work on our vision-boards. We had so much fun; laughing, sharing great sayings or things that we knew each other would like, stories, kids and so much more. Before we knew it, it was 10:30pm and time for bed. I realized that girl time is so necessary. Here’s to more great times!

My health:
Checking in at PH 8 – WOW how great is that!!!! Have been struggling with sugar, but trying hard to stay away from this terrible drug! Need to juice more. It is so much work. Running every morning with my hubby and started walking in the evenings too, mixed with great hot yoga sessions. Trying to find balance, as I know this is as important as my nutrition. I have booked in with a Live Bloodwork doctor in Summerland. My gut tells me he has all the answers. With a wait list of 5 months, he must be doing something right – don’t you think? In the meantime, I am working with a great naturopath who is completely validating my plan. The Neuro appointment is next week.

My favourite saying of the week from my good friend – a breast cancer survivor:

Fear stands for:
False Evidence Appearing Real

LOVE to you all!

So yesterday in confirming my long awaited (only 2 weeks but felt like 2 years) neuro-surgeon appointment, I was told by the wonderful receptionist that she was just about to call me. My Surgeon was called to emergency surgery and that my appointment would have to be re-scheduled. Not only re-scheduled but completely to the back of the line – another 2 weeks. I burst out crying on the phone, said yes OK and then sobbed uncontrollably, then continued to have a pity party for the rest of the day.

Thankfully I awoke this morning with a new mindset.

Firstly, that poor person that needed surgery was in a worse place than me – may they heal.

Secondly, 2 weeks is not a big deal. Nothing will change in this time. As much as I hated our health care at the moment I heard this news. My mother who lives in the UK gave me a glimpse of what we moved away from. At the weekend my mom’s husband had a stroke. As it was a long-weekend she was told she would have to wait 4 hours for an ambulance. He has now been in hospital for 5 days awaiting an MRI scan. In the grand scheme of things 2 weeks is amazing!

Lastly, maybe this was the universe telling me that I STILL need to slow down and take some time to reflect what this whole thing is about in my life. My good friend Lori said it so perfectly when I visited her the other day for nutrition advice. It is not just about the food , it is your thoughts and emotions too. I love what Chris Carr from Crazy, Sexy Cancer says” It’s about what you eat, what you drink and what you think! (Posted on my RAW cupboard in my kitchen). My gut tells me there is a lot to heal in this area in my life and to be totally honest when we have our wonderful RAW food classes, I bet you 95% of people are dealing with emotional STUFF that they don’t want to look at! We all like to think that it is just about the food, but really it is not. We eat what we eat for unmet emotional needs – stuff we don’t want to look at. Well I now don’t have a choice anymore and so this is my priority right now.

So while I wait to get answers, I have realized that I need to find out who I AM! I am a little of a control freak. I would never have said that about myself , but I am. I need to know when & how in order to plan for the future. I also know that I need to be vulnerable right now, I need to cry, be angry and pissed off. I need to let go – Surrender to everything – trying to control my kids, husband and anyone else I love in order for them not to get hurt! So here goes!

I love yoga more than anything, especially HOT yoga. This year I have really enjoyed being there and have made it part of my weekly ritual for well-being and balance. Just after my diagnosis I went to yoga for some “me” time. I got to the studio really early so I could sit and meditate about my present life and as usual I fell asleep. I woke up very suddenly and felt sure I had been snoring LOL – OMG!!! I realised I didn’t really care anymore. How suddenly things change in your life about what is important and how important we really are. I love a line that Dr Wayne Dyers uses – “Stop taking yourself so seriously” We all do this way too often.

Our Yoga class began held by my favourite teacher JOY, who really is a true joy! She not only provides great classes but offers insightful lessons about yoga, it’s stages and great sayings to make you feel “JOY” by the time you leave her class. When it came to tree pose – I became very emotional, crying, trying to hold it together. Now this struck me as so very symbolic. Tree pose is my favourite pose. Trees are one of my favourite things in nature. I love the way trees are so rooted – that’s what I admire about trees. They move with the wind, they don’t fight for space with other trees – they live in harmony. They shed, they blossom. They stand tall in all they do. I aspire to be like a tree. Right now I feel my roots have been shaken, but I know like a tree, I will get through this as a stronger, changed person. Thank-you yoga. A true testimony of what happens when we are truly connected.

My food journey so far: I have now started to eat again – thank goodness. I juiced for about 10 days and quite frankly this was the hardest thing I have ever done. I spent those 10 days mainly hungry. I am now eating 100% alkalizing foods. No sugar, no fruit, just veggies, salad, some raw dishes, soup avocados and juices. More to come on this roller coaster of a journey.

PS. My neurosurgeon appointment is April 11. Lots of questions, anxiety and gratitude!

Here’s to a precious life!

Oh wow what a roller coaster of a journey. I always like to think that I have my S**t together. Maybe this is what this is here to teach me,as right now I so don’t. I totally believe these things come to us for a reason.

So here is my update:
I am still juicing, but have now added soups and avocados thanks to a great visit with my friend who cured her cancer with the PH Miracle Diet by Dr. Young. Who would have known that this special woman would come into my life 18 months ago and be playing such a significant part in my life now – A true Angel.

I had my second MRI scan on Monday. This time pumping me with dye to get a clearer picture of the tumour – All I could think of was “Oh crap what will this do to me trying to get my body to alkaline? This dye must be acidic.” My friend told me to see it as love as it was entering my body and this is exactly what I did – love & trust! The whole MRI procedure was so routine that it all seemed so insignificant. A funny hospital world full of sick people, being told the next crucial piece of news that would change their world. All calm and so routine.

I then had planned a date with my BTF (brain tumour friend) LOL. YES we are multiplying. This is so sad that it is ironically funny. Who would have known that one of my friends would be on this terrible journey too. Not only a brain tumour, but in the same part of the brain as mine AND we share the same doctor. We had a great visit talking about tumours, doctors, treatment, precious life and everything in between. I can’t even believe this is happening. It does not seem real. Here we are – two super healthy, fit, young people going through this absolute nightmare. Her information was invaluable. Just when I thought I had it all worked out, I now know nothing. It would seem our medical technology that we put such trust in really cannot even give us a clear picture. They say non cancerous, but no one can tell you that until they have that tumour in their grasp to perform detailed biopsies. With this said I am now seriously considering having the tumour removed. Surgery, lengthy recovering and painkiller drugs.

Oh mighty decisions to be made, of course all with raw, highly nutritious foods, juices, love, prayers, positive energy, a community of super supportive friends and a healthy alkaline body.

Day 1 – I started off ok, but by 3pm I was cooking a whole beef roast dinner for my family and sat there while everyone feasted – HARD! Today I got rid of all make-up and anything toxic which actually was not a lot. No more hair colouring – NO TOXINS!

Day 2 – I thought I was going to die today, but I made it through. This was my hardest day. I am being mindful of what comes up for me during these times. All I wanted was cookies and a nice cup of tea. As I am from England, I grew up with drinking tea. Tea is the cure for everything – tragedy to celebration. My mom used to make a big pot of tea and bring it up to bed on a tea tray with a milk jug, sugar bowl and four cups. My mom, dad, sister and I would sit in bed and drink tea EVERY morning. At weekends we would have cookies to dunk in our tea. How we make these connected to food, traditions and feeling nurtured and at my lowest time this was all I wanted. This is probably on one of my earliest childhood memories.

Day 3 – Had to work all day today and that was good. Being around great, healthy customers and promoting healthy living is truly what I love to do. I probably need to be busier at this time, but truthfully I have spent my whole life busy and so I believe this whole situation is a sign from the universe to slow down.

Day 4 – Still hungry, drinking lots of water – goal is 4 litres a day. Wheat grass, veggie juices, marine phytoplankton, dry brushing. Staying at Sun Peaks as I really am quite grumpy and thought my husband could do with a break from me. Preparing yummy food for my lovely son and his friend is hard, but they are happy having fun skiing and hanging out and this makes me very happy.

Day 5 – Feeling better today. This was the day I planned to break the juice-fast. Not happening! Going to go for as long as I can.

Here’s to a great life everyone – LIVE TODAY AS IF IT WAS YOUR LAST!

Being more grateful is on my vision-board for 2012, but has not been something I have been practicing in this time of big change in my life, where my feelings switch from relief, confirmation and more often FEAR.

Today I decided to look at what I am grateful for and a weird thing happened, I came to a place of peace – my whole world shifted. It is amazing what happens when you shift your thinking. I looked at everything I am grateful for and for me this is the pure simple things in life that we take for granted.

My gratitude journal is set up to write 5 things you are grateful for each day. These are mine for today:

• The fact that even with a slight knee injury – I have the use of my legs and am able to freely do what I want when I want.

• To be able to run in paradise – see picture of my run today in Lac Le Jeune.

• To have access and be able to afford great, nourishing food that feeds my soul – see my picture of my breakfast that I shared with my precious 13 year old son, Harrison this morning.

• To be able to stay at home today and enjoy some FREE time.
• To have such a great business where my customers are my very inspiration.
• To have a great husband who truly loves and cares for me.

As I am writing these great gratitudes, I am struck how none of them are materialistic, they are just the pure pleasures of life that many of us have. You can simply be grateful for your breath – where would you be without it. That is what I love about gratitude. You don’t need money to be grateful, just a great appreciation for YOUR LIFE ITSELF!!!

Banana crepes stuffed with fresh blueberries & a lemon cream and home-made, dehydrated granola. Smoothie is fresh mangoes, avocado, blueberries, water, spinach & flax oil.

Due to an ever increasing demand for raw food education in our community and surrounding areas, Pure Cuisine will be closing the restaurant part of the business as of February 18^th to focus on what we do best to TEACH & INSPIRE.  Look for our upcoming schedule of classes.

We know you will miss our yummy offerings so we are selling all of our treats through the Art We Are, Victoria Street, Kamloops.

Here’s to an exciting RAW future.

PS – Come to our Date Night on Feb 18^th – 6pm-8pm, a celebration of raw food and success!